Okay, I have to admit -- I might be the least motivated writer in the universe. (Or at least in the tri-state area.) But I do have some ideas... and one that I'd like to develop a little more thoroughly. So here it goes!
Based on my own childhood adventures, it's the story (actually, a series of stories) of 5-year-old twin brothers who get into all kinds of wacky hijinks and learn life lessons along the way. It's written for kids between 6 and 8 years old, so there are more small words than big ones but hopefully it comes off as still being an astute collection. Here is a little sampler platter.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Mom brought the box out of the closet. In big bold letters on the side it said, "Kip's Electric Obedience Training Collar!" Jake looked at Mom with wide eyes. "What... what is it?" He asked. Kristi narrowed her eyes as a grin split across her face. "A shock collar!" she said, hands on her hips.
"What!!" Jake screamed, "A shock collar?! Like to shock him?!"
Rascal whimpered.
"No, no, Jakey, it's to train him not to leave the yard," Mom said.
"But, does it shock him?"
"Only if he leaves the yard. I'll show you."
Mom lifted the collar out of its box. It was a thick black band with a little plastic box attached to it. Mom popped open the plastic box and stuck in two batteries. She put the battery case lid back on, took out a little black remote with a big yellow button, and gave the remote to Kristi.
"Okay, see this here?" Mom pointed to the little plastic box attached to the collar. "This controls how much electricity we use. See this switch?" Now, she turned it to its side and pointed out the little dial on the side of the box. "All we have to do is move this switch from here -- to here -- and voila! It's enough to surprise him, but not enough to hurt him."
Jake screamed again, "No! You're not hurting my doggy!"
"Jakey," Mom said calmly, "it doesn't hurt. I'll show you. Kristi, press the button on the remote."
Mom held the collar in her hand and Kristi pressed the yellow button. Suddenly, a little red light on the box flashed at the same time a little light on the remote turned on. The collar buzzed a little until Kristi took her finger off the button.
"Oh!" Mom said, "It tickles a little! But it doesn't hurt. Do you want to try it, Jakey?"
Jake look at it warily, but stuck out his hand. "If it hurts me, I don't want Rascal to put it on." He clutched the collar with both hands and Mom took the remote from Kristi. She pressed the yellow button and the collar buzzed. Jake squealed and giggled.
"It tickles!" he said as he dropped the collar on the couch.
"But it doesn't hurt you, right?" Mom asked.
"No..." Jake reluctantly agreed.
"I wanna try!" Kristi said and grabbed the collar.
"Okay, ready?" Mom asked.
"Ready!"
She pressed the button. Kristi let out a wail. She dropped the collar and fell onto the floor, clutching her stomach and laughing hysterically.
"It feels so funny!" she gasped between giggles.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
This story is based on a true story in which my mom bought a shock collar for my brother's new dog, who (as his name suggests) was pretty much a little brat (cute, but very untrained.) One day, the dog gets out of the yard and our vengeful neighbor (my mom always called her the witch) grabs onto his collar, intent to drag him back to our yard and scream at my mom for being irresponsible, but my mom notices Rascal's missing and presses the button to activate the collar, and our neighbor got quite a shock. It's a funny story, and I'm retelling it for the enjoyment of little children.
